prevention

i've got the rubberband on my wrist. now, if i could only remember to snap it.

chanel (not really)

love www.cococozy.com

the other side

The following is the introduction from Scar Tissue, Anthony Kiedis' biography.  It is beautiful.  The last two paragraphs are my absolute favorite.  Enjoy.

I’m sitting on the couch in the living room of my house in the Hollywood Hills. It’s a clear,crisp January day, and from my vantage point, I can see the beautiful expanse known as the San Fernando Valley. When I was younger, I subscribed to the conventional wisdom, shared by everyone who lived on the Hollywood side of the hills, that the Valley was a place where the losers who couldn’t make it in Hollywood went to disappear. But the longer I’ve lived here, the more I’ve come to appreciate the Valley as a soulful and quieter side of the Los Angeles experience. Now I can’t wait to wake up and look out on those majestic mountain ranges topped with snow.

But the doorbell interrupts my reverie. A few minutes later, a beautiful young woman enters the living room, carrying an exquisite leather case. She opens it and begins to set up her equipment. Her preparations complete, she dons sterile rubber gloves and then sits next to me on the couch.

Her elegant large glass syringe is handcrafted in Italy. It’s attached to a spaghetti-shaped piece of plastic that contains a small micro-filter so no impurities will pass into my bloodstream. The needle is a brand-new, completely sterilized microfine butterfly variant.

Today my friend has misplaced her normal medical tourniquet, so she pulls off her fishnet stocking and uses it to tie off my right arm. She dabs at my exposed vein with an alcohol swab, then hits the vein with the needle. My blood comes oozing up into the spaghetti-shaped tube, and then she slowly pushes the contents of the syringe into my bloodstream.

I immediately feel the familiar weight in the center of my chest, so I just lie back and relax. I used to let her inject me four times in one sitting, but now I’m down to two syringes full. After she’s refilled the syringe and given me my second shot, she withdraws the needle, opens a sterile cotton swab, and applies pressure to my puncture wound for at least a minute to avoid bruising or marking on my arms. I’ve never had any tracks from her ministrations. Finally, she takes a little piece of medical tape and attaches the cotton to my arm.

Then we sit and talk about sobriety.
 
Three years ago, there might have been China White heroin in that syringe. For years and years, I filled syringes and injected myself with cocaine, speed, Black Tar heroin, Persian heroin,and once even LSD. But today I get my injections from my beautiful nurse, whose name is Sat Hari And the substance that she injects into my bloodstream is ozone, a wonderful-smelling gas that has been used legally in Europe for years to treat everything from strokes to cancer.

I’m raking ozone intravenously because somewhere along the line, I contracted hepatitis C from my drug experimentation. When I found out that I had it, sometime in the early ‘90s, I immediately researched the topic and found a herbal regimen that would cleanse my liver and eradicate the hepatitis. And it worked. My doctor was shocked when my second blood test came up negative. So the ozone is a preventative step to make sure that pesky hep C virus stays away.

It took years and years of experience and introspection and insight to get to the point where I could stick a needle into my arm to remove toxins from my system as opposed to introducing them. But I don’t regret any of my youthful indiscretions. I spent most of my life looking for the quick fix and the deep kick. I shot drugs under freeway off-ramps with Mexican gang bangers and in thousand-dollar-a-day hotel suites. Now I sip vitamin-infused water and seek out wild, as opposed to farm raised salmon.

For twenty years now, I’ve been able to channel my love for music and writing, and tap into the universal slipstream of creativity and spirituality, while writing and performing our own unique sonic stew with my brothers, both present and departed, in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This is my account of those times, as well as the story of how a kid who was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan,migrated to Hollywood and found more than he could handle at the end of the rainbow. This is my story, scar tissue and all.

grey matter

my head is blank except for statistical information about incarceration rates and "get tough" policies... don't ask.  i swear, though, it's not because i'm doing research for my upcoming murder trial.

breezy

where should i jaunt away to for a short vacation?

i'm open to any & all ideas.

a little twist of fate

i ran into this man today in the park.  it was our 3rd random encounter.  i don't know his name. he doesn't know mine. he speaks broken english. i speak broken spanish. yet, somehow, we manage to communicate perfectly.  he remembers everything i have told him in our previous 2 encounters. i remember that he gave me a valentines poem the last time we ran into each other. the beauty of it all is that this man, a virtual stranger, has given me the clearest insight into a man's mind. through his broken words, he has told me why men do what the do, how they are scared of vulnerability. his words make what i am feeling okay, they validate me. in our brief encounters, he has given me a vast knowledge into another life and shown me what i believe is a beautiful soul.  i told him it was fate that we kept meeting like this. he told me he had a feeling that today would be the last time we saw each other, until the next life. i wanted to call after him as he walked away. to thank him for making me believe in something, what exactly i don't know. for showing me that my heart was strong. as he crossed the street, expanding the distance between us, i felt my throat constrict. i knew that i wanted to cry. but i didn't. i did what i always do. i just kept walking.

delicious dinner

every single game he'd play, he'd always win

click to below to listen to "set fire to the rain" from adele's 21 album.  it's an amazing song.  i couldn't have said it any better myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcMKwbMEcQ

a little bit of dream dust

check out this superb bloggirl.

http://whereareyouwherehaveyoubeen.blogspot.com/

important life lessons

some knowledge i have gathered up to now:

• the use of the word panties should be abolished (an exception should be made in regard to the first amendment)
• guys do not change... so you should really stop trying to change them.  you will not be the exception to the rule
• the ideal, movie kind of love exists. i've experienced it. yet, i'm still a cynic
• to win a debate or argument you must always know the other side's position better than your own (thanks dad!)
• the only thing bug spray does is attract more bugs. try dryer sheets instead

xenu

does suri cruise scare anyone else? or is it just me?

johnny colt

http://www.cnn.com/2011/IREPORT/06/17/nauru.colt/index.html?&hpt=hp_c2

really cool video.  to the fisherman in the rainbow striped shorts: call me

...

it's like that time you said you almost bought me flowers
but they never came

bippity boppity shoe

lurve, lurve, love this website for all things clothing:

www.stylefind.com

check it out.  and don't forget to buy me something pretty.

mood

i'm not happy right now.  sad not angry.

birthday

today is mine.

i'm not acknowledging it. well other than posting this, i'm not acknowledging it.

nothing in life is easy

even the facts right in front of you are hard to clearly read.

and i love my friends for making me see the things i need to see. to give perspective where it is needed.

for hugging me in closets where i'm trying not to cry.  and then crying for me.

be grateful for what you have and erase those that make you feel like anything or anyone less than you are.

my niece

http://twitter.com/#!/TaterTottTweets

the tea party's drunk cousin

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/05/31/tequila.party.hispanic.voters/index.html

breakfast love

nothing like a little breakfast love from a colleague on a stressful tuesday.